Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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