Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
did i just pee glitter
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
