I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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