Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
why is half of my head shaved?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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