I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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