So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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