I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
