he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
