I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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