Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
