I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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