Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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