He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Someone signed my nipple.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
