I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
