so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
