I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
