I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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