I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
