I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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