That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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