well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
