He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think my vagina is haunted
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
