Pregnant stripper...not hot.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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