i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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