i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
