I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
