it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
