I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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