I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
