Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
