The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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