I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
