Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
operation have a gay friend backfired
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
