her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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