one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
