We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
