he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
