I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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