We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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