I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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