My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
