is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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