Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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