I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize