So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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