i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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