I intend to get homeless drunk
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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