C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
