some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
