I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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